Here is the heartbreak I have been holding in all these years I am finally ready after 11 years to let go. I miscarried the little life I had inside me when I was 17. The hurt is made worse by I was due the day after my birthday 16 March 2001. I had my 18 birthday without you my darling, didn't even know if you were a boy of a girl. You would be a big baby now 11 years old this March and I always say happy birthday to you each year without fail. Even though I was 2 and a half months pregnant I still felt like a mummy to you.
I held you in the middle of my hand, you looked like a prawn with a black dot in the centre. It's hard to describe but I saw amongst all the blood a tiny tiny person. No hands or legs. I gave you a kiss and but you in tissue and placed you in the bin. Sorry it had to come to that, you were way to small to bury. You were the size of a small prawn.
You are still missed each and every day I've never forgotten you. You have 2 sisters and a brother here on Earth who know about you. And I am married to a lovely man. Your real Daddy David was a sensitive lad and it both hit us hard when you died, we both cried for you but we went our seperate ways.
Now when I think of you now it's not with a tear but with a smile, a smile to think I see you one day, hopefully you'll be there on the other side waiting for me.
