Sergio Alexander,

My son,

I will never forget the day you tip toed into the world, August 21st, 2009... almost silently.. well actually it was pretty loud...  You had a head full of dark brown hair like your daddy, and I couldnt take my eyes off of you.

I waited for you for sooo long, and I couldnt wait any longer when you arrived two weeks before your due date, what a blessing!  The nurse weighed you and you were a whole 8lb 8 oz!  Wow!  And that's 2 weeks before your due date!  What a big boy!

I remember you looking around the room.  You were so smart and so alert from the very beginning.  Your dady and grandma were so proud as well.  I never loved anyone that much.  I never knew perfect until I met you.  You made my life complete and everything was going beautifully.

You never gave me any problems.  The delivery was beautiful.  You were a natural breastfeeder.  You were smart.  You were beautiful.  You were the most grogeous baby around.  I ofet walked past the posters in the mall and thought.  Yupp, my son is one of those babies.. he'll be up there one day, you'll see you'll see.  You were so handsome. 

We did everything together.  We took baths together, we took naps together, we checked email and talked on the phone together.  We watched TV together, we went to the park and the mall together.  We vistited dady at work together, and went to my dentist apointment together.  We took pictures everyday together.  I am sure you thought a camera was a normal everyday life as much as you seen it in your face.

I still cant believe you are gone, papi.  SIDS.  No, not my baby, how could that happen?  He was so beautiful, so smart.  No it must be still a nightmare and I WILL wake up... I just have to.  But then another day goes by and another .. and I still cant wake up.

I remember refusing to believe over and over.  You had a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks... just a regular 2 month check up.  Your insurance just came in and you were getting all your shots. 

I miss you so much.

October 7th, 2009 I will never forget as long as I live.

You were my first and so far my only.  You are my life.. I need you!  How could God take you from me?  Doesnt he know how much I need you?  Yet, I trust his judgement and i know you are in ssuch beautiful hands right now. 

I still sort through you little outfits remembering how you looked in some and imagining how you would look in the others.  I go through your winter snow suits, that are still waiting for you in the same place you left them, and think what a beautiful winter we were going to have together. 

I need you so much.

I think about you everyday and every night. 

The house been so empty without you.  Everything is so plain and the soft baby smell is slowly fading.  I breathe in harder..still nothing.

There is no life too small to make a difference in the world.  Even a 6 week old baby.  You came in and out and you left the whole world crying.  You left it cold and empty without your presence.  My life you changed forever, son, and in my heart you will forever live on.

Daddy and I miss you so much, Chejo, we love you so much.

Will meet again someday, my love, and until then I am counting down the days until I hold tight in my arms again.

In Loving Memory of

Sergio Alexander Bunda Shevlyakov
August 21st, 2009 - October 7th, 2009