Devin Maricle
(2004 - 2004)

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General Details

Name:	Devin Maricle
Gender:	Male
Lived:	Sunday, 8 February 2004 - Sunday, 11 July 2004

My Story

Hello,
Everyone my name is Jennifer I'm from Louisiana I would like to share my story with everyone . In July of 03` I found out I was pregnant for the second time I was so happy I went for my first ultrasound during the ultrasound the nurse was quiet I said is there something wrong she said there are two heart beats here I said your joking no see for your self she said I could not believe I was gonna have twins I was in shock when my husband came in the room I told him its twin he didn't believe me the nurse told him its true he didn't know what to say we were happy before we had the ultrasound our family kept saying its gonna be twins sure enough it was the pregnancy was going good we found out that they were both boys when I got to 8 months I started having early labor contractions, I was in and out the hospital in January 04 . Then on Feb 7, I started having a lot of back pain so my husband brought me to the E.R. they admited me I was 35 weeks my due date wasn't until march 15, here it was Feb 7, they decided they thought they would just go ahead and induce labor they thought the twins were big enough to be born so they gave me pitocin to progress labor here it was the next day still in labor it was Feb 8, about 2:30 that afternoon the nurse came in to do a ultrasound the nurses were whispering and pointing I didn't know what was going on she said one of the baby's cord is prolapsed that mean the cord was coming before the baby and it was cutting his oxygen supply that I would have to have a emergency C-Section I was so scared everything was happening so fast they had to put me to sleep it was about 2:50 then at 2:52 Pm Devin was born 5Lbs 6 Oz 19inches Dylan was born at 2:53Pm he weighed 5 Lbs 9 Oz he was 18 inches when Dylan was born my husband said he was purple and blue and he wasn't breathing so he was rushed to the NICU Devin got to go to the nursery but an hour after he was born he started having trouble breathing so he had to go to the NICU too. they both were on all kinds of tubes and wires. I didn't wake up until 12:00 that night I didn't know where I was my big belly was gone my husband had told me every thing that was going on with the twins I was so worried that something was going to happen to them before I got to see them so I told him to go be with them. When he got back later on he showed me pictures of them I couldn't believe I had two babies I didn't get to see them in person until two days later I was having problems of my own after the c section. When I seen them for the first time couldn't beleive my eyes they seemed so tiny I never before seen babies hooked up like that Dylan was on more stuff than Devin was he was breathing on his own now we got to hold and feed him we couldn't hold Dylan till a couple of more days later then they both were doing fine they were off of everything I was discharged on the 11th but the twins had to stay they could not maintain their body temp and they had to be able to be in a open crib too. Then on Feb 14 they were able to come home. We were so happy to be able to bring them home finally. They were fine and healthy the months went by quick then on July 11, 2004 my life changed forever I woke up about 8:30 my step dad was knocking at the door he came in we visited for a while then about 9:00 Dylan started crying so I went to get him out of his crib I looked over at Devin something didn't seem right he was laying there still his eyes were half way open I thought he was playing just looking at the mobile he looked really yellow I nudged him a little he still didn't move so I screamed at my sister something is wrong with Devin she came in the room she saw him and started screaming and crying we both were screaming my dad ran in whats wrong, we said something is wrong with Devin so he brought him into the living room we started doing CPR my sister called 911 then about 5 minutes later fire and rescue came they they started doing CPR I seen him kind of shake his head I was freaking out I couldn't understand what was going on the EMTs showed up a few minutes later they came in the house took Devin out to the ambulance I was hoping my baby was OK then about 10 minutes later one of the emts came I was hoping he was gonna say everything is OK but he put his arm around me and said I'm sorry but there is nothing we could do he was all ready gone we found out later that he died at 2:00 am and I put him back to bed at midnight so he died 2 hours after he went to sleep I just couldn't believe my baby was gone. The day before he was was playing grabbing his feet sticking his tongue out at me it was so cute and he was gone it just couldn't be true I felt so numb everyone kept saying I'm so sorry for your loss , the cornor showed up and he told me that it was most likely SIDS I never in a million years think it would happen to me I thought maybe if I never went to sleep he still be here I just kept thinking maybe if. My husband works out in the ocean so I had to call him and tell him our son was gone that was hard. They told us we needed to start making arrangements I didn't know what that meant I was in shock every time I closed my eyes I saw Devin just laying there not moving. ........ The next day we had to go to the funeral home to make arrangements picking out his coffin was hard I never thought I would have to do this.
Why me?
What did I do?
The one we picked out looked like a bassinet then we had to pick a place to bury him I did not want to do it but I knew we had to the next two days were the hardest letting my baby go and having to say goodbye because I would never see him again I would never be able to hold him watch him grow up . It has been 17 months later and it still dosn't feel real I miss him so much, 2 1/2 months ago I had another baby I'm so afraid it will happen again which my new baby is on a apnea monitor I'm still afraid this July a few days before his one year death anniversary my grandmother past away that was very hard on me losing two people almost a year apart I didn't think I could handle another loss