Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
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 (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`♥
 Lots Of Love To A Very Special Angel
 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥ ☆

IMAGINE  A LOVE  SO STRONG  THAT SAYING  HELLO AND  GOODBYE IN THE SAME DAY IS  WORTH ALL THE SORROW

I was 19 when i fell pregnant on lorcan i was so scared as i was young and single his daddy didnt want to be a daddy but even tho i  was scared i wanted him so so much.

 I had my first scan at 6wks 5days  god love him he was just a lil blob but right at that moment i knew i was doing the right thing and couldnt wait. I was giving the due date of 30th dec and he was going to make the best xmas present

 right from the start i had a hard time and altho its hard to say i beileve i was the only one who wanted him. My exs family said there son wasnt the father and they caused me alot of stress.

 I was admitted to hospitail in june for 5days i couldnt keep anything down and was very heavily bleeding i taught i lost him but after the bleed i was still pregnant.

 Then again  in july when i was 16 weeks i was admitted again altogether i was admitted 13times with bleeds they didnt know why. On the 20th of aug i got my 20th week scan although it was looking like he might be 22 weeks.

 As they were doing a detail scan on this leg i seen i was having a boy the doctor agreed i wanted a girl but i was still so happy.I went out and got all the blue things i could find i had everything buggy,cot,nappies all i needed now was lorcan.

 I knew that was his name.On the 15th sept i was bleeding i went to hospital  got a scan doctor said baby is fine go home and rest i stayed with my friend that night she was a mammy of 2 and was minding me making sure i rested. I didnt feel right i went to the bathroom and felt wet i got a show which means baby is  coming soon i was 23weeks.

Tuesday i stayed in wednesday it was worse i rang the doctor she said come in tomorow when i went she rang the hospital told them to keep me in something wasnt right.

I was admitted and sent to a ward a nurse brought me over a bowl to get sick in as i had been there before for that i said i got a show im not sick she said dont be silly everyone gets a show it doesnt mean u are having baby now and asked would i like to go home. I didnt want people to think i was  a drama queen and i said well if im allowed  i would go home she said she would get me checked over and then i could go.

The doctor came and said carol would u like to go home i said if i can i would he stood at the end of bed and said go on any pains come back in. I went home and straight to bed when i woke a few hours later i  was sick and when i went to toliet i felt my  baby coming out i taught it was his head but now i know it was my bag of waters when i got to hospital they couldnt stop my labour. I asked for steriods for my baby but was told there isnt time that i was going to have him in an hour but i didnt i had him 12 hours later
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They didnt even try to help him they said there was no point but of course there was he was my life my baby my dreams.I didnt want to hold him i was scared my mam did as he was dying i had a shower and when i came back out he was in a cot trying to breathe then and there i stopped been scared and angry i was sad and just wanted to hug him and in my arms he died 80mins later.

 That was a friday we stayed together for 5days.I  never left him i couldnt it hurt to much we left the hospital monday as the nurse put him in his coffin i wanted to die i never new pain like it

.We went home and i laid his coffin in his moses basket we had one last night together and i burried him near my house my local grave yard that tuesday. I have not had another baby yet i will one day and he or she will always hear about lorcan my baby

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 Sleep Tight......X X
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