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Joy's Obituary
On Friday, July 1st, 2011, our Angel went home.
We wish we could have kept her with us but it was not
to be.
Joy Styles-Kukec (nee Christensen) was born in
Wainwright on April 15th, 1959 and is predeceased by her mother,
Opal Christensen (nee Ebbesen), her father, Martin Christensen, Lance Styles,
aunts, uncles and various loved ones.
Joy is survived by her loving husband, Carl Kukec and
children, Lauren and Gil Marin, Ryan and Chris Kukec, sister Lorraine and Bob Dykstra and family, Bruce
and Linda Christensen and family and Mike and Lois Christensen and family.
Uncle George and Jackie Ebbesen and family and many cousins, nieces, nephews
She asked that rather than grieve, we celebrate her life and
remember her for the laughter, the love and the joy that she brought to all of
us.
A memorial for Joy Styles-Kukec in celebration of her
life will be held
on Saturday, July 9th between 12pm and 5pm at the Blackfoot
Inn
in the Heritage Room and adjoining Lobby Lounge.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the ALS
Society of
Alberta. Further information is available on the
website at: www.hopeforjoy.ca
Carl's Tribute to Joy:
Thank you all for coming ... this is something that I had
never imagined I would ever need to write, please indulge me as I read it for
the most part ... to keep from going too far astray with emotion ... it is a
love letter of sorts, parting words for Joy ... my best friend, my soul mate,
the love of my life!
My Dearest Joy ... Mi Querida:
The last thing on my mind as my head hits the pillow is a vision of a smiling
you ... as is the first thing when I open my eyes in the early light of the
morning dawn ... I turn my head ever so slightly, and the harsh reality that is
the day begins to sink in.
It is not that I am without limb that so handicaps the days since your passing;
rather it is the room that no longer radiates with your smile, it is the room
no longer bathed in the love lurking behind those beautiful expressive eyes ...
for now maybe, absent is the promise of joy-filled days ... days that were
shared without inhibition or restraint ... as can attest pretty much anyone who
has been graced by your presence.
From the moment we fell into each others arms there has not been a time that
our hearts and thoughts have not been completely intertwined, on every possible
level we seemed to share a an intuitive connection ... rooted in a love that
cares more for the other, than for oneself ... as long as the other was happy,
whether near or afar, whether alone or in the presence of others, without guilt
or regret, no judgement or remorse ... we were secure in our love, to come and
go, and to grow ... knowing home was always at hand ... not to say we did not
have our differences; yet it was in the differences that we grew, individually
and as one ... never doubting that our life together was meant to be
celebrated, with no strings attached.
Too few months ago in November, we were wed under the Mayan sun ... in our
hearts we were always secure in the sacredness of our bond, no paper required
... we completed each other in a way that could not be reduced to mere words
... you were absolutely the most beautiful bride I could ever have wished for
... on a stunningly ambient day, that anyone who was so privileged to attend,
will not soon forget.
The name thing was an aside, which neither of us put much importance on ... but
I must admit I so loved it when you called yourself Mrs. Kukec, and the smile
it put on your face when others did; and occasionally I got a Mr. Styles, and
that too made us chuckle ... alas the challenges of the journey were too much
to follow through on, though a mere formality that would have been required ... it was
enough that our hearts recognized that you were mine and I was yours, forever
and always, indivisibly so. I tended to brag that I had the best partner in you, a
guy in a woman's body, all the benefits but without guy hang-ups.
The tears of joy that were shed on that day November day, we share again here
today ... and though I feel lost without you Joy, and though I am desperate to
be with you again ... I know unequivocally, that you want nothing more than to
hear me laugh now and always, to see me love sooner than later, and to help me
embrace life fully and completely yet again ... though, easier said than done
... but in keeping with your iLiveLifeLarge proviso I undertake to do my best,
in your honor ... thus I will embrace dancing in the rain with Joy-like gusto,
and I will lift my head up knowingly ... to feel the warmth of your heavenly
glow.
For all these beautiful people that have gathered here today; and for all those
who have written because they could not personally attend; for your most loving
and caring family, for you immense network of friends, co-workers, acquaintances
and admirers; for my kids who you so embraced as their own, and they you; for
my entire family who were touched in ways they have never before experienced,
even extending the same grace and love to my former wife and in-laws, and they
you ... I speak for all of us that you have been a god-send in the truest and
purest form, our angel of Joy.
And these past two years, however daunting and challenging they were, have in a
way been the most magical of all ... so much life in such a short period, you/we
never shrank from living to the fullest ... until finally we could do it no
more ... at times I know I could have been more (awake that is), but never did
I waiver in my love, nor in will to care for you no matter what ... I would have
gladly chosen to remain on this path with you for the rest of my life, had you
not had to suffer and struggle ... as would have Lauren and Gil in every which
way ... we made an amazing foursome in Mexico, as well as here ... it was our
dream, to be in Mexico of course ... and I will return with you in my heart and
see where the journey takes me ... with peace of mind knowing that one day it
will take me back to you ...watch for me under the Mexican sun, on Mexican
time, as I do a half turn to catch your smile, la Media Vuelta ... mi querida
para siempre.
Joy you are in everything I do, the essence of my being is without measure
completely and utterly for you.
I love you eternally, this is not adieu.