My mom married my dad when she was just 14 years old. She was a full time mother to five kids by the age of 27. She never got be a real teenager because she became a wife and mother at such a young age, but I never once heard her complain about that.
I always had a special bond with my mom. I don't know if it had something to do with me being her youngest child, but there was just always something there that made us very close. I always knew I could count on her for anything, rather it was asking her to come and stay with my other children while I went into the hospital to have another baby, or to just listen when I needed to talk, she was there.
My mom loved her family. She had five kids, eighteen grand-kids, one great-grandchild and two more great-grandchildren on the way at the time of her passing. She was grandma through and through! Anyone who would listen, she would tell them all about those grand-babies! She and my father had been married for 48 years at the time of her passing.
On June, 2, 1995, my 22Nd birthday, my mother had her first heart attack. I remember the fear I felt when I heard this had happened. That was the day that I started to worry all the time about her.
The years went on and mom had a few more heart attacks. She also had other medical problems and was in pain all the time. I was a Military wife from 1998 to 2008, so I was never close to home during those times. When we were stationed in Italy, I came home as much as possible. The fear of something happening to mom was something I felt all the time after that first heart attack, but I don't think I ever believed we would lose her so soon.
In the months leading up to mom's passing, she was very ill. We believe she may have had colon cancer because she had every sign of it. To be honest, I think mom knew her time on earth was almost up. I truly believe she was trying to get me ready for her passing.
Less then a month after putting her on a plane and sending her back to Oregon after she and my dad had stayed with my husband and I here in Tennessee, my mom passed away in her sleep on a cold April day. God was good enough to call her home in the most peaceful way. We weren't ready to let her go, but I know she was ready to leave.
I miss her. I still go to call her when something good happens, but then I remember she is no longer here. There are times when I think there is no-way I can get through one more day without her, but then I find the strength to do just that and I know it has to be mom making that happen. I know if she could, she would tell me to be happy, to be strong, to live life and that we'll meet again one day when my job here on earth is over.
I love you, Mommy. Thank you for giving wings to fly and the belief that I could do it. Thank you for not giving up on me even when I gave up on myself. Thank you for allowing me to make my own mistakes, for keeping quiet even though you wanted to speak up. Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mother. Thank you for getting excited for me when I got the chance to live in Italy four four years even though it meant you seeing less of me, Mark and the kids. Thank you for letting me know that even when the rest of the world seemed to me a dark place, you would always be there for me with open arms. Thank you for letting me be me.
I hope you are resting and finally have no pain. I know life on earth wasn't an easy one for you, but you always pushed through. Save us a place up there, but never forget the place you had down here with us.
