Benjamin, born prematurely at 14 weeks and 4 days, a loved and much wanted baby. Sorely missed by mummy and daddy.

You looked so perfect with you transparent skin, tiny fingers and toes. You were so active and strong when you wriggled and waved at us at the 13 week scan just 11 days before. You captured my heart and gave me so much joy in the last four months. I've sent so many prayers for your little life to fight on till the end, my little warrior. You've already changed my world. All my dreams and plans for the future included you, my hope came crashing down when you left. Yet I have to find the peace to let you go, precious little angel.


Psalm 139

13 For thou didst form my inward parts: Thou didst cover me in my mother's womb.

14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.

15 My frame was not hidden from thee, When I was made in secret, And curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.


Mummy loves you with all my heart.

Milestones Dates
Egg pick up                   21^st May 2009             2 weeks

Blastocyst transfer          26^th May 2009  
BFP                             3^rd June 2009

First blood test              4^th June 2009               3 weeks

Bleed                            19^th June 2009            6 weeks 2 days

First Scan                      20^th June 2009            6 weeks 3 days

Bleed                            26^th June 2009

Bleed                            30^th June 2009

First Doppler signal        22^nd July 2009           10 weeks 6 days

Blood clot                      29^th July 2009           12 weeks

Nuchal scan                   6^th August 2009         13 weeks

Angel date                    17^th August 2009        14 weeks 4 days

Morphology scan            17^th September 2009    19 weeks

EDD                            11^th February 2010

 
Just Those Few Weeks

For just those few weeks
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks,
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks...
when I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks...
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks..
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I??
You were just those few weeks, my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life richer
and to give me a small glimpse of eternity.

Poem by S Erling